Dear Aunt Noor,

I am a 24-year-old man who lives with my brothers and sisters in the village. They raised me till I grew up. I studied at the university and now I have a good job as a teacher in the village. I decided to get married from a woman but my family refused her. She is 40 years old and she has two children from her dead husband. My family’s refusal is because of her age and children. What attracted me about her are her morals, respect, patience and her struggle in life to raise her children. I tried to persuade them as much as I could but they said no. I thought to ignore them and marry her, but she said that she will not accept to put me in a difficult situation with my family.

Mansur.

Dear Mansur,

Before you take any decision, I want you to stay with yourself and think about the advantages and disadvantages of this marriage wisely.  Do you understand that she could have had kids in your age if she had gotten married early! You, as a young man, have different needs in a marriage life. Do you think that you will not find difficulties in understanding each other especially that you are a university graduate while I expect her to be an uneducated woman?  Do you think you will live with her without regretting that decision one day because of her age or the unexpected responsibilities toward her children for example? Also, would her children accept you to fill their dad’s position or are they going to make problems in the future for both of you?

My son, it is important for you to know that marriage life carries with it a lot of unexpected things. I think, you should think about it carefully and you don’t need to sacrifice your life and your family’s relations just because you love many things about her. You are still young and I am sure that you can find the wife who suits you more than her. If you still feel from inside that you have mercy toward her, I think you can help her in many other different ways rather than marriage.

Finally, after thinking carefully and answering the previous questions, you are the one who can decide whether she would suit you or not, try to make up your mind so you don’t regret later as it is said: "look before you leap".

Wish you all the best!

To ask Aunt Noor for her Advice , email her at noor@yemenpost.net