Polygamy Marriage Seeing More Acceptance in Society

Polygamy is between acceptance and rejection and has been a source of controversy between Muslims and Non-Muslims. When Islamic culture allows man to marry more than one woman and up to four at the same time, other cultures do not accept such a concept and considers it to be unfaithfulness in the part of husband.

According to a study by the Yemen Polling Center (YPC) on polygamy, 55 percent of woman respondents agreed that polygamy can solve spinsterhood crisis in Arab societies. Others see that spinsterhood problems can be solved only through helping singles of both sexes to get marriage through lessening marriage costs together with dowry.

Modern Arab studies also stress that women benefit from polygamy, especially in Arab and Muslim countries where extramarital relations are prohibited in Islam.

The YPC study indicated that polygamy is approved when a husband has a sterile wife or when divorce could harm the former wife, noting that men find such a way to be fair though it angers women.

It also claimed that women would find polygamy right when they become widows and get married again. Rarely, do widowed women get married to singles and quite often they are married to men with former wives.

"Two women can share a husband, live next to each other and defend their common love like sisters" said a 35 years old teacher and educational office manager Fahmi Taher Al-Mawri, adding that life is all about being happy.

The study also indicated that women prefer to be informed in advance in case the husband intends to marry a new woman, rather than knowing later or not knowing at all.

"If my husband ever gets involved with another woman, it is better to let me know rather than being kept in the dark," said the 26 year old married woman Intisar Ahmed.

Leaving aside the fact that women in many provinces and areas outnumber men, past and present wars' victims are mostly men. This simply leads to more widowed women. In such cases, polygamy could be a solution for absorbing the increased number of woman who live without husbands.

Still, polygamy can be harmful in many respects. Islam, however, does not regard polygamy as a substitute for monogamy. Realizing its disadvantages, Islam allows it under strict conditions and when no better alternative is available.

Polygamy is something common among the older generations who always prefer to marry young women as long as they have money for that. Former wives either surrender before their husbands' decisions or seek divorce in case they refuse to have partners to their husbands.

In return, many wives put more trust in their husbands and assure that their husbands will not see something different in other women. "I can never have any reason to be suspicious that my husband could be looking for another woman," said Ghaliah Abdullah.

Some husbands prefer to marry secretly in order not to hurt their former wives' feelings, especially when they love them. Upon discovering that their husbands are married to another woman, they get mad and the matter needs a few weeks or even months until things get settled.

"I was shocked to discover that there is a woman sharing me my husband; but I still love him. He has not once mistreated me, and still confesses his love for me," says Bilgis Abdullah.

Abdullah added that she made a decision about her new position after consulting her woman friends and family who advised her to remain with her husband.

Sometimes, some urgent reasons make some people resort to polygamy as is the case when a man's brother dies and leaves behind small children in need for support and attention. Families always prefer their children to be raised in their own houses and not to be cared after by a step-father.

Lawyer and human rights activist Khaled Al-Anesi agrees to the idea of polygamy especially in case a woman is not beautiful enough as humans aspire to have better and when a man eats an apple and finds it delicious, he will ask for more.

Surprisingly, some wives will approve polygamy and search new wives for their husbands as the case with Nabeelah Ali, 33, who notes that she looked for a wife for her husband after her medical problems yielded nothing with her sterility, maintaining she did so in recognition of her husband's sacrifices.  Some cases of polygamy exist when circumstances push the woman to look for another wife for her husband as she finds out that she is sterile." After all my husband's sacrifices for me, I certainly appreciate it and I agreed to polygamy, "said 33 years old and sterile Nabeelah Ali.

Religious scholar Sheikh Hassan Al-Ahdel assures that polygamy is a legal act in Islam but it has a limit and a man cannot keep more than four wives at the same time, stressing that Islam conditions strict measures upon those desiring to have more than a wife including equality, ability, etc.

Al-Ahdel added that a man can seek another wife in case his wife is sterile and incapable of bringing him children.

He hinted that polygamy can be beneficial in societies with more widows as is the case in Iraq where men were killed in the consecutive wars leaving behind infinite number of widows and children with no supporters.