Dear Aunt Noor,       

I am a student in the faculty of languages at Sana’a University, and I am a very brave student who wants to learn new things. When I began to study in the university, I met many good students, so I worked hard to be successful in my life. Now, I am in my third year. The problem is that I fell in love with a beautiful and polite girl and we love each other. I decided to engage her from her father, but I got surprised when he refused me to be a husband for his daughter. I live in a bad situation these days and I am planning with the girl to get married in a secret way because it is the only solution. Please what is your advice  for me?

Muhammad, 24 years old

Dear Muhammed,

I feel really sad about what happened to you and the girl you love but feel worse when I read the solution you thought about.

Muhammed, don’t you agree with me that one goal of getting married is be stable? How could that happen if both of you get married secretly. Have you thought about what would happen when both of your families know about it? How and where are you going to live?

Have you ever thought about her family’s situation when they find out? Have you ever imagined your sister doing that and what would be your reaction? I am sure if you are a typical Yemeni, you would not allow it to happen to your sister. So, how could you accept putting your sweetheart in that situation? On the other hand, I am surprised that she agrees with you in that solution and she forgets that she is the one who is going to pay the hard taxes her entire life.

Muhammed. Don’t harm yourself. The problems you will surely  face will make you forget the love you have to each other. You are not less than the others and you have the right to get married openly as well as your parents also have the right to feel happy seeing you in that day.

The solution is in your hand. You have to know why her father refused you and try to make up those reasons? Try to find a coordinator who he trusts so he might change his mind.  The coordinator might be from the mother’s side, the big brother’s side or the uncle, so if they get convinced the father may change his mind.

Finally, pray a lot that god chooses the best for you and remember that you are not the first or the last couple who love each other but finally couldn’t get married. I hope to hear good news about you soon and if you have any further problems don’t hesitate to contact me anytime.

To ask Aunt Noor for her Advice , email her at noor@yemenpost.net