Dear Aunt Noor,

I have a problem with my oldest son. He is five years old. Three months ago, I gave birth to a daughter. Whenever he has the chance to stay alone with her, he treats her harshly and sometimes he hits her. At times, I hear her scream and I don’t know what exactly he did to her. I always punish him but he never stops. Please help me.

Dear Um Ali,

Congratulations for your new born and may Allah saves them. What Ali does to his sister is a reaction to the ignorance he feels towards him after the arrival of his new sister. He feels jealous of her. The best way to reduce his jealousy is take him out from the competition and let him feel that he is responsible about her. Let him be your assistant in caring of her. For example: “Ali! Please help me change the diaper for your sister.” “Ali! Please help me change the cloths for your sister.” “Ali please pay attention and tell me if your sister cries”.

Let him feel that no one has taken his place in love. Instead he has become your assistant and whenever you take care of the new baby, Ali is always there and has a job to do with you. Finally, never punish him because of her. Punishment will let him feel that his new sister is the cause of you hating him and after that he will start to hate her.  Try with your husband to give him more love and attention until he gets used to the new situation. Also, try to avoid admiring the baby in front of him, and instead of that you can admire him in front of others and that he helps you to take care of his sister. I wish my advice would help in solving your problem.

To ask Aunt Noor for her Advice , email her at noor@yemenpost.net