Dear Aunt Noor,

I have a problem with my husband. Whenever we have an argument, I am always the one who start talking to him and find a solution to the argument.

When I always tell my close friend about our arguments, she tells me that the way I act with my husband will let him not respect me anymore. She said that I should get angry and let him come to me and apologize. What do you think Aunt? Am I right in how I treat my husband, or should I change and be as how my friend told me to be?

Nora 

Dear Nora,

First of all, I would like to blame you gently that you are telling your friend your marriage secrets.Things that happen between the husband and his wife should never go out behind the house walls.

Returning back to your question, it is normal for the woman to be the starter in conciliation problems. The problem is not in who should be the starter in solving problems, but rather than the problem is how to make sure that the trouble is solved positively in a way that helps problems not to be repeated again. Most women wrongly think that a woman who starts to solve the problem peacefully has no dignity and eventually her husband will treat her badly.

On the contrary, most men respect more the woman who starts solving the problem. Men are different from women. In our culture, it’s hard for a man to say sorry to his wife because he doesn’t like to look weak in front of her. Also, the man’s nature doesn’t help him to express his feelings easily.  The smart woman is the woman who encourages her husband to express his feelings that he is sorry. I believe that a husband would never do that if his wife shows off in front of him especially when he tries to say sorry.

I wish you a happy life with your dear husband.

To ask Aunt Noor for her Advice , email her at noor@yemenpost.net