Dear Aunt Noor, 

I'm a young about 20-year-old student. I came from my village to study in Sana'a and now I'm studying at a language institute. My teacher is a female who is two years older than me. Anyways, with this teacher I really loved English and with time I felt adored by her and that I want to see her every day even on Friday’s. My problem is that I'm shy and I can't tell her about my feelings because she respects me very much so I don't like to make her angry, and also I don't want her to change her opinion about me. I ask many people to help me and they told me to forget about her because this is just a stage and it will pass. But I can't. So what can I do? Please help me.

Abdullah A.L.

Dear Abdullah,

About your problem, you really answered your own question. I agree with the opinion that it is just a stage and would pass it. You said you love English because of her but I want you to understand that marriage is deeper than that. You should make sure about her morals and that she is the right person you want to continue your life with. Many people act nice in front of people, but they don’t act the same way with their family so you still need to know a lot about her and the environment she was raised in. Honestly, I am not with this marriage for some reasons:

1- Even though I don’t know how you made sure that she is only two years older than you because women always like to hide their real age but if we assume it is true, is it ok with you to marry someone who is older than you? Aren’t you going to regret that in the future? Also, what about your family’s opinion and her opinion on the matter? Maybe you don’t care if she is older than you, but she cares a lot to marry someone who is older than her.

2- You mentioned that you came from the village to study in Sana’a. Maybe, you haven’t seen the same example of women like your teacher in the village and therefore you love the first woman who you saw with these qualities. As a result, there is a big chance that you might find many other women who you might like everything about like your teacher or even more.

3- I am scared that because you have lived in the village most of your life, you don’t have much experience about how life goes in the city. Your teacher is older than you and since she is a teacher for English, I can understand that she is bold and has a strong personality. That means that there is a big possibility that she might have a stronger personality than you and you can't control her in the future.

4- Many educated and working women don’t accept any man easily. They want to marry a man who they feel he is better than them, especially educational wise.

I wish I hear after a while that you are doing well and that you become stronger and sure about your feelings.

Good luck

To ask Aunt Noor for her Advice , email her at noor@yemenpost.net