Dear Aunt Noor,

I am an 18-years-old girl. Last year, I finished high school and I stayed at home this year. My problem is that I spent most of my time with my mom at home since I don’t work or study. I feel that she loves making problems to me. For example, when I watch TV she gets so angry at me and if I sleep in the morning then she will spoil the rest of my day. She always criticizes the way I talk, the way I spend my time, and almost everything I do. I really feel how much she hates me as if I were her enemy instead of her daughter. I hate my life with her and I don’t know how to stop this situation.

Please help me aunt

LoLo 

Dear LoLo,

Thank you for your question my dear. Firstly, I want you to understand that your mom loves you so much even if you feel the opposite. Every mom in the world wants to see her children as role models. Your mom wants you to be the best of the best. For example, your mom wishes to see you smart, active, an excellent cook, helpful and so on. When she sees you wasting most of your time next to the TV, at least in her point of view, or sleeping, then she compares you to the picture she hopes to see you in, she feels angry and frustrated because she couldn’t accomplish her dream. Therefore, you need to understand your mom the same way you want your mom to understand you. Of course there is a gap between parents and kids in the way of thinking, but both of you need to find ways which help  you to get closer. In your situation for example, you can do these things:

1- Try to satisfy her as much as you can. Satisfying her could happen by being nice and near to her. It could happen too by helping her in house work even before she asks you.

2- Try to avoid things which make her get angry from you. For example, try not to watch TV or sleep especially when she needs your help. 

3- Let her feel your love. Treat her as if she were your best friend. Have conversations with her. Ask her about what she loves and what she hates. Try to have common activities. Share thoughts, jokes and even worries.

4- Finally, your mom is a human too and she needs to feel sympathy. It would be wonderful when the daughter gives her mom sympathy. In fact, if you do all the above accompanied by sympathy, your relation will change 100% to the better.

To ask Aunt Noor for her Advice , email her at noor@yemenpost.net