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  Written By:  Aunt Noor
  Article Date:
November 03, 2008

 

 

Dear Aunt Noor,

My problem is that my kids lie very much. I can’t trust them in anything they tell me. For example, they would tell me that they finished their homework but then their teachers call me and complain that they didn’t. They would tell me that they didn’t go out to play with the neighbors’ kids and I found out later that they did. Even my youngest daughter who is only 5 has started to lie. Me and my husband argue all day because of them.

Um Ramiz

Dear Um Ramiz,

Your last sentence summarized the cause of what is happening to your kids. Many couples don’t pay attention to the dangers of arguing in front of kids. This badly affects the kids’ psychology. Lying is common among kids, and it happens for many reasons, but one of the reasons is the bad relations between parents. So parents should avoid having arguments in front of kids and never let the kids feel that there are problems between them.

Also, kids especially in younger ages, imitate people who are older than them, especially their parents. Thus, when parents lie to kids or even when they lie in front of kids, kids think it is something normal. As a parent, you should be serious about it and when you notice your kids lying, you should discuss the issue immediately and it is OK to deprive them from things which they love as a punishment.

Another reason for kids to lie is when kids are scared of punishment. They would prefer to lie than to be punished. That usually happens when parents use punishment with their kids for every big and small thing. So, decide on what to punish your kids with for each kind of problem.

 

Good luck

 

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