Dear Aunt Noor,

My problem is my best friend is not my best any more, I met her when I was in high school, and she was a very good person. We became the closest of friends. We have lots of things in common. We decided to study in the same section at college, and we really did. Everything was ok till we finished the first year.

At the beginning of the second year, something happened. She started to act strange; sometimes she did not attend some lectures. She started talking to boys much more often, and use some bad words. I advised her many times, but nothing changed. We just argue and fight for a couple of minutes and then we leave each other.

Soon later, I decided not to talk or walk with her again.

The other day, I heard people talking negatively about her. I felt sad and discovered that I still love her and want to help her. 

So, what do you think? shall I talk to her again or not?

Saba

Dear Saba

I want you to realize one important thing. When you criticize someone s/he has the choice to accept it or not and it depends on your approach as well. If you criticize harshly and rudely, no one will accept it and you will make another problem rather than give a solution. But if you criticize someone softly and politely, you will solve the problem and find that everyone will come to you whenever they are in need.

So I want you to persuade her first and try to criticize her behavior and not her personality. In the same time don’t let her feel that she is wrong and you are better than her. Show her that you care about her, and you don’t want people to talk about her.

Furthermore, you said she is your best friend and you feel sad when people talk about her; therefore, it is your chance to prove to her that you care and are ready to support her whenever she needs. If you decide to not talk to her any more, she will understand that you are not a real friend because you left her when she needed your support. You know the saying “A friend in need is a friend in deed” . Go to her, and be a real supportive friend. Be optimistic and hope the best.